I have had a month! In an effort to "prove" to a Non-Catholic that we "KNOW CHRIST;" I accepted an invitation to another church for a bible study. It was a beautiful disaster day one: there were multiple attacks on my faith in the idle chatter of the small group. "The bible says only to call God the father" "Did you see the drawing of the Pope as a super hero" (something Pope Francis publicly denounced the Vicar of Christ rejected super hero worship) "Did you know they can only confess to a priest." The leader of the study put the kabosh to the spiritual gossip by saying she only found the Catholic Faith to be very "Christ-Centered" (cue crickets) I never announced I was Catholic and didn't really even see the need. I was wrong not to introduce myself as an outsider. I really needed community; I had been home solitary for most of the past two years with our youngest two children and felt isolated. I was so eager and ready to get out of our home that I accepted the invitation as God answering two prayers: God I need girlfriends and I really want a Bible Study. There was child care at the bible study; so any excuse I had was removed.
After I had left the small study room I told my friend who had invited me that I didn't know if I could do "this." I told her I was a woman of Christian Unity and the things the others were saying about my faith; well I felt attacked. Isn't that always the way the Accuser works. He doesn't want unity. The devil invites, entices and evokes confusion and disunity. This is the devil's ultimate plan for Christ's Church and His followers. Disunity, in our families; Confusion and Fighting amongst our Brothers and Sisters in Christ. He stirs the pot of difference and sits back and cackles. (cue evil laugh) (Please make sure you have seen the Evangelical video of Pope Francis his message of Christian Unity is beautiful and heartfelt and unprecedented. Video - Christian Unity)
I prayed for fortitude and wanted so badly to help my friend Know ...that I am a Christian and I am "saved" through my Catholic Faith. Perhaps the lesson God was helping me to learn was... He knows my heart. He knows how much I love Him and how thankful I am for his unearnable gift of salvific grace. (Yeah, Catholics believe you cannot earn your way into Heaven. We read our bible too, in case you bought into that farce as well.) God knows, and only God's judgement counts Eternally. So why am I parading into another church, and trying to "fit in." I made it through the entire study - by the Grace of God. Believe me, it wasn't in my comfort zone to want to be around women that didn't and wouldn't accept me as I am. If you are amongst convicted Evangelicals or Fundamentalists as a Catholic there is a target the size of the moon, that says..."please convert me or I will burn in Hell!" That is my impression anyway. I also learned that if you are going to speak; speak in truth and with Love. So the final day of our small group I was attacked for the final time. This time they had weeks to premeditate how they were going to "help" me see the light. The angle they took was by saying that Mother Theresa clearly didn't "know Christ" if you read her diary. {Mother Theresa's Beatification Process} (WHAT???) The head of the bible study was using Blessed Mother Theresa's dark night of the soul as grounds for one of the most amazing Catholics of our time burning in hell. It Broke my HEART!! I was left speechless and couldn't leave that room fast enough. I wanted to shake the dirt off my sandals and RUN!! Of course they followed up that comment with a swift "Does anyone need to be baptised?" (NO! NO! NO!) I left with as much grace as I could muster. I invited my friend, who had invited me, to the next bible study I was going to do in my home by Jeff Cavins,. The Great Adventure Bible Study - Salvation History
I have since given much thought to what I should have said. The bottom line is when you are on foreign soil speaking up and rocking the boat when all I really wanted was to find some friends outside the home for a trip to the library or the park; confrontation wasn't my agenda. I left empty handed. I felt like I connected with a few new women. God reminded me the following week that I already had friends: I got together with my friend from Catholic High School the following week for our Youth Group Mardi Gras fundraiser. I had a drink with my friend who lives around the corner and we saw our friends who we spend all summer with at the pool at the high school basketball game. My friend that I made during our competitive soccer season called and we will be reunited soon cheering on our boys during their freshman year of high school soccer. It was as though God was saying; I have given you friends. Did you forget?
Then Thursday I got to see my favorite friend who fills my soul and is the most gracious woman of God- and is not Catholic. She is my soul sister, and the first time we opened the bible together I found out her bible says that the Roman Catholic Church is the "Whore of Babylon." That was 6 years ago, we got past that bump and I couldn't imagine life without her. So only God knows how the mission to find a friend will end. My mission instead will be to please Him and be sure HE knows that I live a Christ-centered life; so that the judgement that counts will be Everlasting and Eternal. All praise and Glory to Christ our King! Blessings for your 40 days of Lent.
More on the Dark Night of the Soul Mother Theresa's Dark Night of the Soul Part I
Mother Theresa's Dark Night of the Soul Part II
